flambeauprincess's Xanga

Top 6 of Summer '06: NeVeR FoRgOtTeN

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 14:21:34 GMT

Happy National "Talk Like a Pirate Day." The Summer is over. I have been back in school for 3.5 weeks, and now I am working again, and I have to wear my jean jacket and drink tea and crank up the heat in Becca Berry's car. So I decided to immortalize this summer by a very unromantic list of what basically rocked. Not every single song/movie was brand new this summer, but if it made my summer, it made my list. Songs were the hardest, because I had so many faves this year. These selected few, though, I probably sang the most!

Songs

6. Gasolina—Daddy Yankee

5. Of All the Gin Joints in the World—Fall Out Boy

4. Tie: L.O.V.E.—Ashlee Simpson or Move Along—All American Rejects

3. Life is A Highway—Rascal Flatts

2. Stars Are Blind—Paris Hilton

1. Hips Don’t Lie—Shakira

Movies

6. Cars

5. Everybody's Hero

4. The DaVinci Code

3. Boys Town

2. Pirates of the Caribbean Two: Dead Man’s Chest

1. The Omen

Places:

6. Volcán Poás, Costa Rica

5. Waterfalls, C.R.

4. Tabacón hot springs, C.R.

3. Jarabacoa, Dominican Republic

2. My cabin lake house, Lac du Flambeau, Wisconsin

1. Puerto Viejo, C.R.

Memories:

6. Daddy Yankee concert in San José, Costa Rica

5. At the cabin—skiing, 4^th of July, etc.

4. Mackin' it with my Tico, C.R.

3. Beautiful kids at the orphanage, Dominican Republic

2. White water rafting, D.R.

1. Meeting the best people ever, and developing the best friendships ever.

My Adventures in the Dominican Republic

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 23:20:13 GMT

He hugged me long and hard, and I think we both had misted eyes as I finally drew apart in order to make my bus on time. He asked, “Will you come back?” I answered in his native tongue, “I don’t know. I hope that I will be able to, but I don’t know.” He sighed, but smiled hopefully. “Si Dios quiere,” he said. “Claro que sí, Christopher!” I responded with a grin. “Yes of course. If God wants…”

I have spent the majority of my summer in Latin America. It's been great! In the D.R., when my teammates were suffering indigestion from the daily rice-and-beans fare, I happily filled my plate each mealtime and then, to my friends’ dismay, was immediately ready to go exploring the town! (And go clubbing). The language I had practiced and learned in Costa Rica was also a huge asset as I was often in demand to help translate our Dominican work foreman’s instructions, do the talking when we went shopping, and talk to the kids at the orphanage every day as we worked and played with them. Everyone thought I was Dominican. I think it must have been the tan and dark hair/eyes, even though I'm not even as tan as usual this summer. I mean, you should be able to tell I'm not Dommie as soon as I open my mouth! But I did get that question a lot in the Dominican. I felt quite special. I don’t even pretend to be fluent, but even my attempts were very useful. Knowing the language makes one muy popular!

We started out working at a Christian school, doing lots of painting and scrubbing. Painting sounds easy, until one has to use extenders, perch atop ancient ladders, and spend hours bent over backwards as one attempts to paint ceilings with minimal dripping which has to be scrubbed off later. We also painted lines on the basketball court, hopscotch lines, soccer goal posts, and other fun things like that. One afternoon the children’s VBS in the next door church was singing lots of familiar songs we knew in Spanish. It was sweet to be able to sing along in our own language. Then we moved operations to the orphanage. We scraped paint off a house, re-primed and re-painted it. We scraped paint of the roof—the longest job ever—and it was hot up there! We sanded, using bricks, the concrete walls of a new house, which gave me a new empathy for the ancient Hebrew slaves building pyramids by hand. I also helped sort tons of donated clothes, school supplies, and gifts, and thousands of soccer uniforms and cleats. Those two weeks were packed with work! Often, some of the kids would help us, or at least entertain us and talk our heads off while we worked. Sometimes in the afternoons before we left for the day, we would play a game of basketball, or just hang out and run around with them, and that was a lot of fun. One highlight was the morning we got to take off work and cram in a tiny bus with 50+ kids and a couple of adults to go to a waterfall and swim. It was a great time to just be able to cool off and get to hang out and speak Spanish. Of course, the last day we all got to participate in a fútbol (soccer) tournament, which was a blast. Only during the game, I got eaten alive by mosquitos and no-see-‘ems, and my leg was a bloody, muddy mess by the time we were through! Leprousy again!

Back to the opener. My little friend Christopher. We were teased about each other by both Dominicans and Americans, and we hung out alot. I was thinking, though. My Tico novio (Costa Rican bf) was too old, and this one is too young. However, if I average the ages, it gives me a bf a couple months older than me! Perfecto. Oh well, Eva says next trip I will find the perfect soul mate.

In conclusion: No, I didn't get to see Sammy Sosa's home (I tried) or go clubbing (I also tried) or do anything terribly or abnormally peligroso. (Remember that vocab word from past posts?) I did have a sweet time with my teammates, playing NERTZ, dancing to dulce music (name my new header line, peeps!), and white-water rafting. We also saw 13 river-side baptisms, which was awesome. It was a great trip, and I'm thrilled by the way God worked throughout in my life, particularly. It was amazing, and I am grateful.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 22:28:28 GMT

So basically, all the computers in the world are being so retarded slow right now I can't do anything...including upload pictures from Costa Rica. So I'll put those in a photoblog album later. But I really need an update because at 3:30 tomorrow morning I will be leaving for the Dominican Republic, to spend two weeks working on an orphanage with a group from my church. Looking forward to continuing practicing that spanish...

So Costa Rica was basically amazing. We went to school every day from 8:15 to 12, and classes were taught only in spanish. Then in the afternoons we often had field trips to places which we then had to write reports on (in spanish, usually). Other afternoons we had free time to roam around the city or sleep or do whatever. Generally, I wandered around the city and ate amazing empanadas and wondered why I had't died yet from all the dangerous scrapes I found myself in.

Some of the highlights of the required field trips were: seeing Volcán Arenal (Arenal Volcano) erupt at night, and swimming in the hot springs, and swimming near the waterfalls, and seeing the National Theater, and getting soaked La Paz Waterfall gardens, and hanging out on the beach and in bars at Jaco Beach, and spending our free weekend (not required) at the very rasta Limon, which was pretty darn amazing. Some not so highlight-ish field trips were the Gold, Jade, and National museums, but still I'm glad we went because I never would have gone otherwise. Unfortunately, the pre-Columbian gold artifacts I stole from El Museo de Oro were unable to enter customs, so I ended up hawking them on the street in order to pay my way (and several irresponsible friends' ways) back into this coutry. Alas. I thought they were pretty nifty souveniers, myself .

So basically, that was the gist of my trip. I have lots more adventures to tell and all but I hate long posts and this is pretty long. I'll save them up and bring them out every so often to spice up this blog...oh and for my faithful dogged fans, this has turned into too much of a diary, I agree, so it's back to the Editor's Column very shortly.

Also, I have succumbed to pressure and gotten a new Myspace. I don't really like it, but I am unable to get Facebook about which I am so ticked so I got Myspace instead. Look me up.

On Protests, Rape, Leprousy, Pirate Cabs, and Totalmente Dulce: Costa Rica pt. 1

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 03:23:23 GMT

Excerps from Emails and Journal entries: One day, my amazing friend Meredith and I were wandering around killing some time before we had to go to el Museo Nacional. So we saw a protest with loud music and yelling and tons of ppl...protesting TLC (some trade agreement pending between CR and the States). Of course at Orientation our leaders had made a big deal about not going to protests or getting involved bc we could get into such big trouble. And what do we do but walk right into one. But we were sure it was safe because they were all peacefully singing, and there were tons of policia solemnly lined up. We got as close as we could, although we got a few stares b/c what the heck were total Americans doing at that kind of protest?!?! haha. We stood around and watched for a while and then it broke up so we left. At the museum, then, we sat on some cannons and took sweet pix.

So I totally stole a few pix from Gayle to tide you over till this lazy chick gets her own up.

We had a Clase de Frutas, or Fruit class, one day at school. That's, from L-R, me, Meredith, Chaz, and Brian getting ready!

We have also been nearly killed, raped and robbed a number of times, especially since the traffic here is absolutely atrocious. Like what is up with ppl? Once we were in a cab on our way to a Daddy Yankee concert (haha...ever heard of him? Ill tell you that one when I get back) anyway, we had 5 girls crammed into this cab, one in front, 3 in back, and one laying across our laps. The cab was crossing an intersection where everyone was yielding. This huge semi, however, didn't yield. Its headlights were shining bright and he slowed down a little and just kept coming and coming as we were halted in the interesection. Definitely the closest brush with death up till that time. Then one night Meredith, my roommate Louisa, and I were meeting the rest of the group at a bar, but we didn't know where it was and the cab driver didn't either. So we had him let us off at el Teatro Nacional and we were wandering around in the dark trying to find it. While a beautiful bustling place during the day, it definitely was the wrong place to be at night. We stopped a guy to ask for directions and while he didn't know where it was, he told us to go up street b/c we were in an especialmente peligroso [dangerous] area. So then we started looking for a cab driver who actually knew where it was. It looked like a legit taxi, but he offered to take us there for one American dollar. And of course what do we stupidos do but take his offer. Amazingly, we got to the bar no problemo. Yesterday we were trying to find el Museo Jade, and we definitely got lost wandering around a totally new part of San Jose. And ended up in another part of time we definitely shouldn't have prolly been in. At least it wasn't at night, and we explored a new place, which was totally MUY DIVERTIDO.

My roommate Lousia, me, Meghan, and Gayle herself in the mountains for our farewell dinner the last week.

Another friend, Meghan, accidentally deleted 122 our of the 177 pictures I had from the first 2 weeks. Since then, I've taken next to no photos I am so discouraged. Thankfully a lot of pals have the same prints Ill get, but still, everyone said I had THE best crocodile pix and some of the best monos and just friend pix. One of the best Meredith ones she wanted for her blog but it s no longer...*sniff* However, later on I got this really hysterical picture she used as her facebook profile pic. You guys will have to see it as soon as I can get it up.

I wish I could say I'm getting fluent in Spanish, but I definitely am only getting fluent in Spanglish. Between Mere, Meg, and me we coined the phrase "Totalmente Dulce" and had tshirts printed. They are the envy of our group and are, simply put, totalmente dulce!! My teacher here thinks I'm totalmente loco.

Oh so I also have a friend whom everyone calls my Tico novio, and for good reason I suppose. I met him at our "Monday night bar." His name is Sergio, and he's been emailing me in Spanish. Which of course means I can't email him often because it takes me forever to respond back in espanol tambien. I really can't begin to tell you all about all the amazing things I experienced and the wonderful ppl I have met through this trip. This entry was mostly about the danger and excitement, which is only the beginning. Next time, for those of you who wonder what sort of studying I got done, I will focus more on academics. haha! And en serio, I will have más pictures también.

San José at night. It reminded me of the movie Mary Poppins, and how for all the London scenes the scenery was painted on glass, with little holes poked through where light shone behind. Only this was real. Ok, random thought I know. But it was very breathtaking.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Wed, 31 May 2006 18:07:00 GMT

I have found a song that MUST be played at my funeral. Let There Be Morning, by the Perishers. Keep that in mind, y'all. And remember, only the GOOD die young

We stood looking around as the crowds, yelling and rushing as is common in Chicago, throbbed and moved about us. "Well," said I, "We have no specific instructions, we are an hour and a half early, and what should we do " We looked around, and I spotted a boy looking more lost than we did and squinting at a familiar piece of paper. "Guys, I think he's in our group," I said. "Go ask him," Audrey said. He was. So we decided as a foursome to check in together and go wait for the rest of the team at the gate. We did, with a surprisingly short wait and no problems through security. I was a little skeptical of going without waiting for our group, but we had no instructions other than "meet," so we decided to meet at the gate. I bought batteries, they bought food, I stole a newspaper, and we settled down to wait. Hours and hours went by, and we took pictures, did crosswords, discussed the horrors of the news, and waited. Shortly before it was time to board and several hours after we were supposed to meet, our team finally started to trickle in. Audrey, Ruth, James and I are now all famous for being the smart travelers who checked in right away, avoided the computer freezes, and worried the rest of our team half to death. Our leader made it on the plane after the last boarding groups had been called

It is the last day of May *tear* and here I am in the Best Western, San Jose, Costa Rica. There is no Microsoft Word, and the keyboard is extremely funky. But hey, I'm here! It is very quiet around here... most of my 40+ classmates are bushed after a long day of travel yesterday, and this morning's venture to the coffee plantation which, btw, was totally awesome! This morning and last night we ate at Denny's, which as you know is very Costa Rican

This afternoon I have to write a report about it, and figure out some very important information so !Hasta la vista!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Tue, 23 May 2006 03:42:27 GMT

It’s been a while, but honestly I haven’t had a minute to post! Isn’t that something? I really really haven’t. But…finals went well. You guys, I got straight As this semester. That may not seem like much to you, but is the first time ever (at least in highschool) for me. What a way to end senior year! I was absolutely stoked when I ripped open my grades from Kishwaukee College today. 4 As, all beautiful in a row. Then my government at home was an A too so I am supremely happy.

I helped at the GenJ table at the homeschool conference Thursday…it was pretty fun and I met him! Isn’t that amazing? Of course my mom was freaked though, because he recognized me from my picture on here. psh. Read this . C’est la vie!

Yesterday was my graduation party. Class of ’06 rock on! It was so much fun! So much work too—my mom and brothers and dad all worked amazingly hard while I was suffering through Costa Rica orientation all weekend. But over 120 people came to celebrate (a ton of invitees didn’t even show up) it was an awesome reunion, and now I have some cash to use for…well, we’ll see. It was a glorious day weather-wise, (I got a great snap of Pastor Steve playing croquet) and it ended gloriously as well with my favorite piano players and hysterical renditions of “My Heart Will Go On,” and “Pomp and Circumstance.” (So appropo) He came, She came, He came, She came, She came, She came, She came, of course He was there, and…I think that’s about it for xanga people.

I leave for 5 weeks in Costa Rica a week from tomorrow! Life is exciting. By the way, Rebecca is the best book/movie ever. Especially when read/watched on a rainy day with a cup of hot Earl Grey. Written by Daphne du Maurier, filmed by Alfred Hitchcock.

Pictures from the last few weeks: (I don’t have yesterday’s up yet…but there are only a couple anyway since I forgot to recruit a photographer!)

My gorgeous Lassie. Mom had him groomed professionally as a surprise birthday gift and he was quite the movie star after that! This was taken right afterwards, two days before I turned 18.

Boyle roasting his first American s'more (Rotty in the background!)

Yum! Lotr on the left, Boyle in the middle, Bruce on the right.

He liked it! "Hello my name is Bruce, it's a pleasure to meet you," "The pleasure is mine and I'll give it to you!"

This is why I've decided to be an ambassador to the Philipines someday.

It's the xanga gurls! It was the best bonfire ever if I do say so myself But they've really become all the rage this season so I'm going to plan a masquerade ball for later this summer as something new and exciting. Jordan E. is totally stoked and wants to plan it with me! Ok, random I know. Moving right along...

Fancy that...me doing manual labor! In prep. for the party. I'm not even posing. Promise.

The week before finals is worse than finals themselves. No posing here, either.

The family with this year's Philipino additions on my birthday. Back row, L-R: James, LOTR, Boyle, Bruce, Ethan,Christiana, Charlie. Front, standing L-R: Susannah, Mom, me, Dad.

Note: I decided to read Mein Kampf because in The Winds of War, a naval submariner reads it and it supposedly helps him understand the Germans better. Folks, this is the stupidest piece of complaint and lies I've ever seen. Absolutely ridiculous. I supposed I can't help being partly biased, although I am trying to be as objective as possible. But this is so boring and retarded!

Be sure to check out my map at the bottom of the page. I think I'll need to switch to a world map soon. "I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere!"

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Sat, 06 May 2006 19:59:38 GMT

*EDIT: *gasps* my profile age updated automatically! *weeps*

After my last speech of the year, my teacher finally tells me I get red when I speak. She thinks it’s cute. Is that why she’s let me make an idiot of myself the whole semester without telling me? I am going to be spending all next year with her though, on the forensics team, so I may have chance for some sort of revenge! Today I’m trying to start AND finish a poetry paper due Monday. Finals start Tuesday. Last night was the best bonfire ever (if I do say so myself) at my house! What an awesome time! Bruce and Boyle loved their American s’mores. Pictures soon to follow. Tonight is B&B’s last night with us, and it’s going to be so sad. Before they get home this evening, though, I’m off to celebrate a belated cinco de mayo with some chicas. (!)

My dad and I seriously go through this at least once a week. I found the strip this week, and we had a good laugh. I love being a teenager

Irene

Last night I had a dream you was the homecoming queen

Today you’re 18, happy birthday Irene

Quit school; you had to drop out to raise your little child

Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

You got to reach up to touch rock bottom

The powers that be keep you downtrodden

Daughter of Zion, I heard your prayer

Just cast your cares and please beware

of snakes

They come in all shapes and sizes

Tempt you, put scales on your eyelids

Don’t waste your sorrows They’ll give you strength tomorrow

Your cavalry’s about to come so

Keep your head up, don’t you ever let up

This storm will pass you be ready for the next one

Hey little girl with the pressures of the world

on your shoulders

Don’t say that’s it over

I heard your prayers just cast your cares

And I’ll be there so don’t you fear…

Hush little baby don’t you cry

Daddy’s gonna sing you a lullaby

Everything’s gonna be alright

The Lord’s gonna answer your prayer tonight

Hush little baby don’t you cry

Daddy’s gonna sing you a lullaby

Everything’s gonna be alright

The Lord’s gonna answer your prayer

Monday, April 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 04:15:12 GMT

A little over a week ago, I had the best xanga time of my life. As a result, I had a near total internet hangover all week. Shocking, I know. Feel special if you received a comment from me because I pretty much only appeared for absolute OCCASIONS. I think I might also abandon this site because I have gotten a little bored with my life here. But first, an update. *AND the fans go wild*

Thursday, I was officially offered a full tuition scholarship to Kishwaukee Community College for the 2006-07 school year if I join the speech team. I accepted. Some people are excited for me. Some people think I’m wasting my brains. Some people think I need to branch out. I don’t know what to think myself. I registered for most of my classes, then went to the Y, where I met Sarah McSwain who is also going to Kish next year just b/c she can’t afford the Christian U she wants to go to. I love Sarah McSwain. We reminisced about how horrible it is we can’t play soccer this year. And about the good times we had last year with our Filipino friends. If nothing else, WE are going to have GOOD TIMES next year!!

Friday was good, bonfire and other stuff going on. Narrowly missed seeing Jordan E. though, and my parents were [ed--] ticked that I was an hour late getting home. I wasn’t even driving so it TOTALLY wasn’t my fault. All her brother’s!

Saturday: cleaned my little sisters’ room and moved them into mine for the next two weeks (more later) then went to the SHS Talent Show with Laura Hicks and some *random* boys and it was AWESOME! What a blast. Then the boys went to McD’s afterwards but L and I went with aforementioned Jordan E and company to Caribou’s. It was pretty schweet.

Today: Bruce and Boyle got here! This is my family’s third year hosting teenage Filipino boys who come in a group from the Philipines and spend a month learning conflict management and leadership in the NIU area. (That’s why we girls have to put up with each other for a while). It has been a BLAST every year and I’m totally stoked. They are so cute! We’ve already nicknamed Bruce “Bruce Almighty” and played some rousing games of B.S. and Spoons this evening. They leave in two weeks…on my birthday L Last year me and the two guys were even asked to the local Christian school’s prom but they had to leave that day so we couldn’t go. It would have been so much fun! Anywho, pictures will definitely follow shortly, so stay tuned.

Next weekend is my last recital as a highschool student…I’m playing Clair de Lune and I can’t wait till I don’t have to practice that dang song anymore! I usually memorize my stuff like a week or two before but I’ve had this one down for a month and haven’t even practiced this week I’m so sick of it. gah. I saw Sarah K at the talent show and asked if she was ready and she had totally forgotten—so it looks like I won’t be the only lazy SENIOR there! score.

If you are not leaving comments b/c this post is such a loser follow-up to the last one than POO YOU! This post is dedicated to HAILEY, who is really the only one who cares if update or not.

Seems familiar, somehow...

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:48:45 GMT

{Btw, I'm reading the above book^ for a research paper I'm doing on shell shock. Interesting stuff. I'm still listening to Avril, in case you're wondering. It rox!}

So Spring is finally in the air.

Which means, of course, that love is also in the air. Springtime and new love—the 2 just seem to go together, don’t they? Friday night I had some friends over. We had a great time, and I heard a small piece of info that about knocked me out. Laura Panella is getting married this summer~ To Aaron Winn, no less. The atrocious thing is, I knew he was getting married, but I didn’t know to whom, and I didn’t even spend time dwelling on it because I really don’t know him personally. Even though I should have guessed—after all, they’d been dating for a while! My female matchmaking intuition had failed me! But how exciting—Laura Panella is getting married. I’m thrilled for her. Now maybe those two will come visit Sycamore more often!

Me and Laura Panella at SEMP2004, Wheaton College. Ahhh, good times!

And, my matchmaking intuition will hopefully not fail again and cause me future heart trouble. I was happy to find out a few weeks ago that I’d predicted another couple last week or so—now they are happily basking in each other’s online presences. (Unfortunately I am not allowed to disclose their whereabouts). 2 other xanga-ers I forsee as the perfect couple are he and she. Can you not see it?! I’m telling you, if there isn’t a secret romance brewing already my mischievous mind won’t rest till there is. Her sister, I’ve noticed, spends a lot of quality time with him online in a “little sister”-ly fashion. It’s good to see he’ll fit in well with the family! The sister, btw, is not without romance of her own. I’m going for him, though I’m sure he hasn’t had the faintest idea yet. These younger kids have plenty of time The First Lady, as we all suppose, is happily married to her President, but he has forsaken his xanga. Pining away, she has found another lover—he whom I only know through the online gov’t and a most spamalicious xanga chatterbox. Once again, this adolescent boy will need some time to outgrow his guns and braggadocio. But of course if Rhett ever gets back—problem solved! She seems to have multiple loves, mainly among the stars. When I dig up some juicy specifics, I’ll be sure to relay it. He is obsessed with some girl named Marilyn who ~~plays piano~~ writes songs. I wonder if she blogs…? She has numerous stalkers but I have yet to…wait! I feel a match for her coming on! On second thought, ditto for their family members—him and her. Vicki is mostly a star hugger too, but I’m sure we can find someone for her. Morgan, hmmm, I need to dig deeper. And as for my brother, well, most of his xanga pals are girls so…maybe I’ll let him pick.

Oh and me? Keenan Turner took the liberty of pronouncing Lucas Ray and myself wed a few months ago. [We like to pretend we’re not homeschooled, so we didn’t try dating online—in fact, we didn’t date at all—which may explain our marital difficulties.] His first act as married man was to order me to drive his sister home from church. Divorce was rapid thereafter.

Well aren’t you glad I gave all you cautious young lovers a little push? “Just like honesty needs a little plus, fate needs a little push,” (~Judy, White Christmas) Just in time—prom season is here! Now I’m off to schedule some online dances, so leave me a message if you need more assistance…or even if you don’t!

Happy Easter! He is Risen, Indeed, As He Said He Would!

Hawaii Pix Are Here At Last! (The only things you really cared about)

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:40:37 GMT

Where we had breakfast the first sunny morning--Duke's on Waikiki

The U.S.S Arizona still releases 2 quarts of oil a day from her depths. We saw some rise, drop by drop. They are the tears of the fallen.

Sailor and I on the ferry to the memorial

The best snow cones ever on the North Shore! Mine was Volcano flavored, Mum's was Hawaiian.

Yup, it storms in Hawaii. The view from inside our windshield.

Me and the famed Giant Fern Trees, as seen by N.D. and her gang in The Mystery of the Golden Pavilion!!

Kissing Liho (the instructor is standing behind me).

Me and my instructor Pat after the surf lesson, through which I was painfully aware of how out of shape I am. (Yeah, I know I look like crap in this picture...cause I just had a surf lesson, that's why!)

Mom and I at the Cheesecake Factory (home of the best popcorn shrimp in the world) on the last evening, with the Pink Palace in the background.

I sincerely hate myself in this picture, but I couldn't not include our sweet car.

By the way, I wish there was a preview button for posts (am I just blind and not seeing one?) Because after posting I always have to edit a hundred and one times. Sorry if anyone noticed and was bugged by it.